Just Sayin'

My doctor doesn't think that we will make it all the way to May 24, which is when the cesarean is tentatively scheduled for. And ever since he told us that, anytime I make a strange face and/or noise, Brandon's immediate response is, "Are you okay? Are you having contractions?" 
He is going a little crazy playing the waiting game. I think it is safe to say that Brandon is more anxious for Samuel's arrival than anyone. 
I on the other hand, am on the fence. One side of me can't wait to finally meet our precious little gift from God while the other side of me doesn't think I'll ever be "ready" to receive such a gift. Why? Probably because I am admittedly terrified of what kind of effect this baby is going to have on my life our lives. Or maybe it's because I am scared of the long, painful road to recovery that I must endure after having the major abdominal surgery that is necessary to deliver our little man, as well as deal with the listless unpleasantries that follow childbirth. 
Arrrrrrgh! I know that I need to stop thinking about those kinds of things, but sitting around the house all day, completely unoccupied sure makes it difficult not to...

Lord, help me focus on you instead. Please remove this fear in me that is consuming what was meant to be a blessing.